G Spot

Curiosity Might Kill the Cat, but Could get you Customers!

If you've been caught talking about how business is down, and you wish the economy would turn around then I might suggest you are not taking action.  This doesn't negate the fact that yes, globally business is down and the economy is challenging, but if you are really in tune with what is coming out of your mouth you might come to realize that you are now waiting and just letting business happen.  No matter what if you are a small business owner, executive in a big company, work for a nonprofit, middle management, unemployed what ever the current status may be you don't sit back and wait for business to happen.

Now, more than ever is when you rise up, dig deep, get uncomfortable and get off your ass and stop hiding!  If you typically send an email, maybe consider picking up the phone and call your customers.  If you usually talk to them via phone, then consider meeting them in person.  It is time for you to be the curator of your own curiosity.  Get over yourself and your troubles and focus on other people...focus on your current customers and your potential customers, your network of business contacts and your closest colleagues.  Start asking them questions about their business, their family, their kids or grandkids, what causes are they active in, what keeps them up at night, what are some goals they are striving to reach in their business and how can you help them get there. 

Put yourself at the top of the curiosity chain...ask, then shut up and listen.  Of course you will be able to relate what they are saying and you will more than likely what to contribute to the conversation by saying" I totally understand and boy do I get it better than ever...our business is down 30% and no one wants to talk about new business."  Okay, what just happened in the conversation?  You were suppose to be talking with your customer and instead you ended up making the conversation about you. 

Get your jedi focus on and if you need to get out what is on your mind or you're looking for validation in how you're feeling, try writing it down first.  Get your thoughts out of your head, because the voices in your head aren't YOU anyway, it is your ego.  Let that shit go and put pen or pencil to paper and let it out.  Once you see what you're worrying about or what you want to vent about then you can sort through and determine what you really should be focusing on.

So, kill the cat (not literally, of course) and get curious with your customers and your prospects.  Some thoughts on how to do this...develop a profile that you have all of your customers fill out.  Harvey Mackay a  multi-million dollar business man and a #1 bestseller on New York Times Swim with the Sharks without being Eaten Alive has developed the "Mackay 66" Customer Profile.  He has every customer answer questions from how much water they drink to what places they like to eat at to favorite menu item to hobbies and interests to moral and ethical questions to personal and professional goals. 

Getting this curious may be more of a stretch for you, then it will be for your customers to answer.  They will never forget you and throughout the relationship will value you more because you took the time to think of them and to really get to know their needs, wants, wishes, interests and desires.

Now go...develop your curiosity and get more customers!

Beyond the Labels in Life

Have you ever rolled out of bed in a grumpy mood and immediately decided "this is going to be a bad day"?  Have you had your day start out not so great and then you get a phone call that re-energizes you and you think "man, this is a great day" even though you spent the first 4 hours of the day subconciously thinking it sucked?

We all do it and it's our subconscious or some would say our ego that has to put labels on everything.  When we put negative labels on things it increase our chances that we will experience it that way.  Retraining our mind to work with us and not against us seems like it should be easy.  It is if we're willing to not let our ego get in the way of being attached to an outcome or an experience, regardless if it's good or bad.

Keep that mental chatter or "rented space" in your head under control by these easy steps that I have found work for me.

1. Retrain your brain to be and think positively.  It starts with repeating positive mantras (outloud and internally).  Pick a simple mantra or thought you want your subconscious to hold on to and repeat it 5 to 10 times throught out the day.  Start as soon as you wake up and end your last mantra right before you go to sleep.

Examples of some mantra's or positive thoughts: 

• Money flows freely and frequently to me in every way and every direction.
• Strength,courage and vision will bring extrodinary results to my life.
• This is the time, this is the place, the time is now to achieve what I believe.
• There are no problems in life only a lack of ideas and my creativity always brings the answers needed.

2. Believe what you are saying.  Go beyond just saying it, but visualize in your mind the success or goals you are working towards.  If you don't believe what you are saying, neither will the universe or your soul.

3. Surround yourself with other positive people.  Build a network of people who are supportive and have the same like mind.  We're not perfect and we all will have our moments, but having a strong network will pull you back faster and your positive thoughts will become stronger for it. 

4. Write it down. There is power in what we write because it becomes tangible and for many the goals, dreams and passions become more tangible because it's out of your head and on paper.  Writing down everything even your fears becomes less fearful.  It is our minds that create the fear and the obstacles - no one else and it is only us who can overcome ourselves and take the positive action necessary to dispel our fears. 

Remeber, don't give the control over to someone else and let them decide your fate...you are too intelligent, and strong to give up that much power and let other people's fears and circumstances have weight in what it is you desire to achieve!  Be bold.  Be positive and the only label you should be putting on anything is the label that fits with your dreams.

Growth and change can be hard, but staying the same does not move you.

Namaste ~

Just Say No

Did you know the May Clinic reports that saying no can improve your health by reducing stress?  It's true or at least that is what the Mayo Clinic says and they are a lot smarter than I am.  Saying yes, comes so naturally because we want to please.  It is our own sadistic way of fulfilling our ego or something.  Saying no should be the new yes, like gray is the new black this season.  Our choices each day are limitless, however, time is not and we seem to give our most important commodity away.  STOP IT RIGHT NOW & GO AHEAD AND SAY IT....NO!  Feel good or give you the sweats?

Well, the smart people at the Mayo Clinic provide us yes-sayers some tips:

Say No When:

1. To spend time with family or when it is important...work really can wait.

2. Spending time on quality things you've already said yes to.  You don't need to pack more in for quantity sake.

3. To free up time to do new things.

4. Let other team members shine...you don't always have to be the center of attention (note to self - gina).

5. Decline on impromptu invitations when you already have something planned or maybe you've planned nothing, but that is what you need.  Honor yourself first.

How To Say No:

1. Tell the truth.

2. Say no gracefully.  Acknowledge the kind invitation and if you sincerely would like a rain check, ask for one.  Also, tell the truth about your prior obligations...sincerity will be noticed.

Now, go practice being honest with yourself and others!

Leading from behind the desk

What is your definition of leadership?  According to John Maxwell, one of our leadership gurus and best selling author defines leadership as

"influence...That's it.  Nothing more; nothing less...He who thinketh he leadeth and hath no one following him is only taking a way."

Is it that simple?  Could being influential be the only answer?  For the sake of simplicity, if influence is about inspiring others to follow is that the heart of leadership?  I know stop with all the questions, and just get to the insight, right.  Well, lately I am questioning what leadership really is, what it means, what are the most effective pricinples and methods of leading people and the list of questions goes on...

How do we arrive at the answer?  I've concluded there is no "right" answer because whether you are leading or following (both are important and essential) and when you are working in groups it isn't about being right or wrong with how you are leading, it is keeping in check that if you're out in front make sure you are leading with passion, purpose, and inviting others to participate.

So, if we have defined the "what" meaning leadership is influence, then we have to connect the "who" to leadership.  Call it "leadership styles or traits or something else what does the "who" really mean?  Okay, so  obviously it has to mean a person if someone is leading.  Is that person an effective leader because of the skills they have learned and practiced over the years or are they effective leaders because it's their personality?  This becomes a heated topic and I personally think it's both.  There are natural leaders and then there are people who have worked really hard to develop the right skills of being a leader.  Regardless, of whether someone has natural abilities to lead others you have to continually learn, educate and improve your skill set. 

So, wherever you are on the leadership ladder do you have the capacity to take the bullets when they come your way?  If you are leading with passion and through others with a committed vision in mind you will be taking some heat.  Are you ready for it?

The past few days for me personally taking the bullets has been hard.  It has me questioning leadership in general, methods, best practices, tools, skills and is it worth it to get out from behind the desk and lead others to a vision that hopefully in many cases will even result in leaving a legacy.

Here are a few things I've concluded (at least for this moment) as I'm always open to change, learning and hearing other perspectives even when it's hard:

1. There is no leadership if others don't want to follow

2. When others are following they have to want to see the leader succeed

3. You have to account for the groups insecurities.

4.  You have to be willing to let go and allow for mistakes, otherwise the process isn't collective.

5.  Leadership is uncomfortable at times and you have to push through it.

6. As a leader you have to understand the stages of the project or initiative you are working on and what the team needs to participate.

7. A leader must know when to quit.

8. A leader has to learn how to listen to critisim and not take it personally (this one is hard for me - I'm okay on the listening part, it's the taking it personal part becasue I don't get involved with projects that I'm not passionate about and being passionate is personal to me).

9. A leader should have energy that is contagious.

10.  A leader must be able to laugh.

11. Authenticity is essential.

There are many more and hopefully when reading this you actually came up with some of your own leadership traits that you feel are important.  In the end, it is about collaboration and people sharing in a vested interest.  Leading from behind the desk requires courage, committment, thick skin, passion and a purpose.  Oh, and a bullet proof vest.

Here's to getting out in the trenches!

What I Know For Sure

It has been a few weeks since I posted a new blog and several people have requested that I get back on top of the game and keep writing.  Thank you to all of you who have been encouraging me. 

Now, feeling fueled from chocolate chip pancakes, meatballs, wine, gelato and italian coffee I find myself wondering what will be next on the "meal plan" today.  Maybe I should have a salad or get my fat ass outside to exercise.  Nah, why that is crazy talk. 

Okay, so down to business...What I know for sure is that I am going to miss my daughter like crazy as she heads back East to go to school tomorrow.  It is time to kick my newest venture into high gear.  I want to learn more about raw foods.  I know for sure that it is time to let go of any barriers I've put up because this is the time to innovate, visualize, go against normal patterns of behavior and be bold.

Today, I have been thinking of this new business venture I'm embarking on (sorry I can't share with you yet) and it is my nature to take it all on myself because I have the vision and the steps in my head that need to be done to make it happen, and it will, but what would happen if I did something completely different?  Like bring in someone to help me who could compliment my skills and have strengths of their own.  I will admit it is a scary thought because I am use to doing things on my own and keeping it close to the vest.  Don't get me wrong I collaborate on many many projects, and I love sharing knowledge, ideas and helping other people.  I guess I'm just not great at letting others help me.  So, what I know for sure is that it is time to start innovating and opening channels that have been guarded in the past just to see what will happen.

Finding a Future in Today's Youth

Tomorrow we are putting on a career and resource fair for youth ages 14-24 at Cambridge Recreation Center and the process has been eye opening in many ways. 

One, our community is hurting.  There are many adults who are out of jobs and are calling to ask if we can get them a job or at least guarantee we can get their children jobs.  This says to me that there are many people from all different walks of life and experience who want to work, but truly are not being given the opportunity too.

Secondly, we have a lot of concerned citizens who are great humanitarians and are passionate about providing our youth with better opportunities so they gather bus loads of kids and drive them to these fairs with hopes that they will find career exploration ideas, potential employer opportunities, get some good advice and learn how to interact socially and professionally.

Lastly, there simply is not enough youth resources for low-income and at-risk kids.  We are missing the chance to really get kids off the streets and into jobs, careers, education and volunteer opportunities.

I know we can't solve the worlds problems, let alone the challenges of our community today.  However, it is hard to see kids who are judged by the way they talk, walk, what they wear and their lack of experience when these kids are our future.  We all have a vested interest in reaching out and discovering ways we can give back to a sub-population that will be leading our children and our grand children. 

Find a way you can support our youth.  Become a mentor, volunteer at youth organizations, sponsor a child, provide training for special skill sets...get creative!

Encourage the possibilities in youth and we will build a better future.

The Simple Truth in Letting go

As I was driving in the car getting some windshield time with the sun beating down on me in the 100 degree "Vegas Summer" a thought flashed through my mind...if I don't want to own any of the bad or negative stuff that has happened to me in the past, then just let the shit go.  By me dredging it up from the past or continually talking about it or whatever it is that doesn't serve me I continue to own it.  Now, who wants that when in some way there has been suffering or challenges with whatever "it" may be.

I know this is such a simple concept and one that maybe isn't blog worthy, however, for me as I was staring out the windshield the road became that much clearer as to what life is really teaching me and that there is so much truth to be found if we're willing to let go!

Here's to rediscovering simple truths and living life to it's fullest potential.  Now, I'm off to find the beach, some peace and reve up the creative juices to fuel my next 30 years of success!

Step Outside Your Bubble

I had lunch today with two amazing women who are very successful in their work.  What I realized was that even though they are overachieving in the work place they haven't exactly found their place within their community.  Of course, they aren't alone.  Hoards of people go through life managing the daily grind of life with work, family, friends, parenting, sports and then occasionally they find time to chill.

Is this how we're suppose to be living?  Hell no, the Europeans don't live this way, nor do many parts of the world.  It is only us Americans that seem to be into creating distressed and self perpetuating depressive lives.  What is up with that?

Have you ever thought about the bigger picture of what community means to you?  Is community your neighborhood?  Your professional network?  Your friends?  Community activism?  Or maybe community is sharing a bathroom with someone else in your house?  Whatever you do...no sharing toothbrushes because that is just gross. 

To me community is actively engaging in all of the above (except, the toothbrush sharing).  Community is space where you give without expectations or attachments to the outcome.  I don't volunteer because I expect something in return (well, that is not completely true I wish for good karma to come back to me tenfold) however, I am not volunteering my time or skills for this purpose of good karma only.  This would be a hopeful fringe benefit, but not a requirement or expectation...just a wish.  Community spirit in my opinion is ultimately blending all aspects of your life for the greater purpose of peace, goodwill, living in the moment and new experiences. 

Now, how refreshing would the world be if we all created a collaborative life that mixed and co-mingled all things we love, appreciate, feel passionate about and desired.  Do you think we would have a better world?  A world that would be defunct of living in a bubble?

I think it would be a great social experiment and I challenge all of you to consider how you can step outside the lines and create a cohesive and collective life that is beyond your wildest dreams.

Take 5, 4 then 5 again: Tips on achieving success

There isn't much in life that we can have complete control over.  The five things we control as I see it are: 

1. How we love

2. Our grattitude

3. Our actions

4. Our integrity

5. Our faith

Controlling our actions or are outputs being one of the most important choices we control means that if you are serious about achieving success you must step outside your normal mode of operation and be bold.  It is a continuous stream of action towards a goal or goals that will get you to where you want to go.  You must do 4 things to see your goals through:

1.  Envision it      2. Feel it       3.  Be it        4.  Do it!

Choose 5 actions EVERYDAY that will move you towards success.  For example, if you want to write a best selling book you could:

1.  Write everyday   

2. Research a new topic for a chapter or on how to get your book published  

3. Take segments of what you're writing and create a workshop and offer it to the public 

4.  Meditate for 10 minutes and let new ideas flow  

5. Start a blog

Don't make life more difficult than it already is...set up your 5 action steps at the end of each day so you're prepared the next morning or wake up early, grab a cup of coffee and jot down your 5 action steps for the day and then incorporate them in.  Women tend to be emotional about the actions they want to take so we can mind block ourselves and then justify why we didn't get something done or find other tasks to keep us busy so we are self-sabotaging.  If you're a chick and you do this...STOP NOW!  Don't let your estrogen rule your success.  Strap on your courage, your man size emotional deflectors and get on the horn and talk to people, or write - whatever it is...just "do it" as Nike has been saying for years.

Reclaim your success and own the 5 choices we control, do the 4 things that will help get you there and then take 5 more action steps every day.  Now, go kick some ass!

 

Living Dangerously in Parachute Pants

Maybe it is the death of Michael Jackson which is making me nostalgic and remembering my middle school and early high school days where Michael Jackson was an icon and girls who wore parachute pants from Chess King were cool.  Of course, I was one of those girls wearing parachute pants and thinking I was invincible dancing around to Thriller.  My best friend had the glove and MJ jacket along with a closet full of clippings that was stalker like and she could moonwalk with the best of them.

Not many girls actually wore parachute pants back in the day, but let me tell you it took some courage to put those tight form fitting pants with all of the zippers on and strut around school.  It should be no different today, except I'd like to trade in my parachute pants for Jimmy Choos and a LAMB handband.  The attitude is the key...I didn't care what people thought or said when I was 15 years old.  I was completely comfortable in my skin and in the skin of my parachute pants.

We all need to take a moment to remind ourselves that living dangerously doesn't have to involve helmets, skateboards, tattoos, binge drinking or bungee jumping.  Living dangerously can simply be...LIVING.  Living with courage and conviction.  Being fearless in our action and to not over analyze life.  Life is simple and being successful is a mindset...if you believe and envision success and life being easy versus hard, then it will become easier.  If you are willing to put on your "big girl" pants and be bold, then daily living will reward you with amazing miracles, moments and memories.

Dig out your parachute pants, chuck taylors, crop tops or daisy dukes and start strutting your stuff!  Live dangerously and re-discover that youthful zest.